Robert is in Spain, so I’m taking the wheel at The Mix this week! I have to admit, I may have fibbed a bit when I told him I was writing about Scotch…
Don’t look so worried, I got this—after all, I won the “What Christmas Means to Me” writing contest in 4th Grade. Ok?
How hard can this be?
Yes, Scotch Everything.
We have a Christmas Cocktail party every year—Robert makes great cocktails, especially delicious Tom and Jerrys, and I make the food. I always try to think of something that people haven’t had before, and this year I decided to Scotch, everything.
Last summer, when it was time for our annual 3rd of July picnic, I was using up whatever we had in the fridge (making up some of what my son used to call “Mom’s Crazy Food.”). I made Chicago Hot Dog Salad (all of the ingredients that go into a Chicago-style hot dog, but make it a salad); and when I saw that we had lots of ground pork (Robert grew up on a pig farm in Wisconsin, so we always have ground pork), I decided to Scotch everything I could find. I mean, what food would not be improved by encasing it in sausage, breading it, then frying it in oil?
The answer is: None.
For this year’s Christmas party, I decided that would be my surprise food. I looked around and found cocktail onions, homemade pickles, and some blue-cheese-stuffed olives. Then I saw sweety drops (a Peruvian hybrid pepper). Wait, caper berries sounded fancy. And why not get even fancier and do hard-boiled quail eggs too?
I went through three pounds of ground pork. I thought I had made way too much, but by the end of the evening, nothing was left. Success!
Recipe: Scotch Everything
Making Scotch eggs is a lot like making meatballs or meatloaf, in that eventually you don’t really need a recipe and you can substitute things if you don’t have others. This is what I used last week:
Ingredients:
Ground Pork - about 1/2 pound per food item. (The recipe below is for 1/2 pound. Please adjust as needed.)
Bells Poultry Seasoning- 1 teaspoon
Garlic Powder - 1/2 teaspoon
Ground pink salt- 1/2 teaspoon
White pepper- 1/2teaspoon
Scotch Items: choose something small and roundish and not too moist. Cherry tomatoes are okay, but they may burst; cheese too. I used cocktail onions, pickle slices, blue-cheese stuffed olives, caper berries and sweety drops and hard-boiled quail eggs. The yield will be approximately 12 items per 1/2 pound; the bigger the item the fewer this yields.
Bread crumbs - 1 cup
Eggs - 2 beaten in a bowl.
Vegetable Oil - fill a large heavy bottom skillet with approximately 2 -3 inches of oil. Heat over medium heat until hot.(They say 350 degrees is best.)
Mustard-Mayonaise sauce:
Mayonnaise - 1/2 cup (sometimes I use Greek yogurt)
Dijon mustard- 1 1/2 teaspoons
Horseradish- 1/4 cup
Hot sauce - to taste - or use hot mustard.
Mix together, taste, adjust.
Instructions:
Mix together the pork and spices in a bowl.
Flatten a 1 inch ball of pork in the palm of your hand to about 1/3 inch thick.
Place the item to be scotched in the center of the disc of sausage.
Pinch it closed, and roll in your hand, so that the item inside is completely encased in sausage.
Chill in fridge for at least 15 mins.
Roll chilled balls in breadcrumbs, then dip in beaten eggs. Shake off the excess egg into the bowl. Roll in breadcrumbs again and place on dish to chill in the fridge for at least 15 mins.
Heat Vegetable oil in frying pan over medium heat. Place a “test ball” in pan. Turn on all sides to make an evenly browned ball. Add the other balls, turning to brown evenly.
After about 4 -5 mins the balls should be done.
Place on a paper towel lined dish to drain and cool. Serve hot or serve room temp - or cold. It’s all good.
Serve with mustard sauce on the side.
Yum.
Odds and Ends…
I am going to Spain this week—Madrid and Barcelona—does anyone have any suggestions of what to eat, drink or look at?… Are there any bars in NYC that serve Tom and Jerrys now that Pegu Club has closed?… I would like to see Sarah Ruhl’s latest Becky Nurse of Salem at Lincoln Center Theater, but chances are, I won’t get there. Please go and tell me what you thought of it… Feel festive? Sugar Monk in NYC has beautiful looking egg nog on their menu. And while you’re uptown, stop by 67 Orange Street, and help them celebrate their 14th year in business (psst: there’s a reason they’ve been around that long)…Robert wrote something for the New York Times about what why we keep drinking the same holiday drinks.
Don’t worry, Robert will be back next Monday.
This post is the greatest tribute to Scotland since Mike Myers’ heyday on SNL!
And yes, I know you and Robert are busy enough, but I vote for you both opening up a Scots-focused bar/restaurant with a staff cardiologist on the premises! ;)
Good work MK!